Fredagsjoke

[Raskolnikov]

Ved godt det ikke er fredag endnu, men here goes.



"Uh, er, that's the Body-laptop Interface. The idea is to provide the user
"privacy, warmth, and concentration" when using a laptop in public spaces. It's just a concept for now... at least until Thanko or SolidAlliance sees it."

Say what!!

[Raskolnikov]

God fredag alle-sammen!

[Raskolnikov]

Det er ikke helt fredag endnu, men skal se den nye Indy i nat sÃ¥ det føles sÃ¥dan! 

Den nye Iphone bliver kæmpe!  


Og her:
http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=2536

[Kim Olsen]

 

NÃ¥r vi nu er ved amerikanske tilstande...

[Raskolnikov]

Mere sjov. Telefonsjov.
En mand vil have en burger hos CBB mobil.
http://www.jakobgraves.dk/files/904e8bd9fdb838c5b5af4558de7f643d-252.html

[vilmann]

/vilmann

[fan of the man]

"   
The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...."
God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?"
God said, " Ah, yes."
"Well ," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!

"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.

[Janils]

Revideret udgave af det gl.testamente

In the beginning God created Eve. And she had 3 breasts. After three
weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. How's things, Eve?" He
asked. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and
sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is
wonderful but I just have this one problem. It's these three breasts
you've given me. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am
constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches,
snagging them on bushes, they're a real pain," reported Eve. "That's a
fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know. I
gave the animals, what, six? So I just figured you'd need half, but I
see that you are right. I'll fix that up right away!" So, God reaches
down and removes the middle breast, tossing it into the bushes. Three
weeks passed, and God once again visited Eve in the garden. "Well, Eve,
how's my favourite creation?" He asked. "Just fantastic," she replied,
"but for one small oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are
paired off. The ewe has her ram, the cow has her bull, all the animals
have a mate, except me. I feel so alone." God thought for a moment. "You
know, Eve, you're right. How could I have overlooked this! You do need a
mate and I will immediately create Man from a part of you! Now, let's
see where did I put that useless tit?"

[Raskolnikov]

Den nye mars robot fra et andet perspektiv.

[a2zinck]

vent venligst...

[Raskolnikov]

vent venligst...

[fan of the man]

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.

As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding

the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would

have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or

pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual

Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman

he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of

nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly

asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"


"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my

personal experiences to debunk some of the

popular myths about sexuality."


"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"


"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are

the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American

Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best

lovers when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is

the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm

sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you.

I don't even know your name."


"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba

[Raskolnikov]

God fredag alle sammen!!  

Jeg føler mig nok lidt ramt af dennne...

[fan of the man]

Alle disse inlæg stammer fra en Australsk turist website, og svarene er fra sites officials, som må siges at have humor.
    
            __________________________________________________



            Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).



            A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.



            __________________________________________________



            Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA)



            A: Depends how much you've been drinking.



            __________________________________________________



            Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney- can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)



            A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.



            __________________________________________________



            Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)



            A: What did your last slave die of?



            __________________________________________________



            Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)



            A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
            Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.



            __________________________________________________



            Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)



            A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.



            _________________________________________________



            Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)



            A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.



            __________________________________________________



            Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)



            A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the ViennaBoys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.



            __________________________________________________



            Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)



            A: You are a British politician, right?



            ____________________________ ______________________



            Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)



            A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.



            __________________________________________________



            Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)



            A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.



            __________________________________________________



            Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)



            A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.



            __________________________________________________



            Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)



            A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.



            __________________________________________________



            Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)



            A: Yes, gay night clubs.



            __________________________________________________



            Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)



            A: Only at Christmas.



            __________________________________________________



            Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? (USA)



            A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour...



            __________________________________________________



            Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)



            A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

[Raskolnikov]

He he. Der er mange gode