Fredagsjoke

[3DX]

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced his  altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and  shouted: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet  him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering  approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 45  degrees north latitude and between 9 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is  technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your  information, and the fact is I'm still lost.
Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

The woman responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am!" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well", said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're
going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot
air.
You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.
The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

[Janils]

En sød lille sandfærdig? histore:

Moderen står ud af badet og rækker efter sit hårnet til det langt mørke hår. Hårnettet er væk og hun improviserer. Trækker et par trusser ned over hovedet til at holde på de flyvske lokker.

Da hun kommer ud fra badeværelsen kommenterer hendes lille søn denne løsning højlydt: "Du ser tosset ud mor, med trusser på hovedet".

Kort tid efter ringer det på døren. Knægter styrter ud og lukker op. Der står en mand. "Mor, mor" råber knægten "Der er kommet en fremmed mand, så nu må du hellere tage trusserne af!"

[hrmand]

Jeg bidrager ydmygt med denne:

Forleden satte jeg mig for at bevise, at blondiner ikke er dumme, så jeg indkalder til en sammenkomst for blondiner og som led i bevisførelsen inviterer jeg en en af dem op til podiet og stiller spørgsmålet: Hvad er 7 + 7? Hun tænker sig grundigt om. ”13,”siger hun så ...

”Nej, svaret er forkert" må jeg fortælle, men alle blondinerne i salen begynder at råbe: ”Gi’ hende en chance til,”og jeg spørger igen: ”Hvad er 7 + 7?”

Blondinen tænker sig endnu en gang godt om og svarer: ”15.”

”Nej, desværre er det også forkert” og straks begynder alle blondinerne igen: ”Gi’ hende en chance til, gi’ hende en chance til!”

OK, 3. gang er lykkens gang har min mor lært mig, så vi prøver igen ... hvad er 7 + 7?”

Blondinen tænker sig godt om og svarer: ”14.” ... efter 1 minuts stilhed begynder det nedefra salen igen: ”Gi’ hende en chance til, gi’ hende en chance til!”

Og så er det: Go´ weekend til alle

[virious]

Selvtilliden fejler da i hvert fald ingenting...

[3DX]

[Raskolnikov]

[Raskolnikov]

En god start på ugen. 

[Raskolnikov]

Og to mere:

[Raskolnikov]

God fredag!

Five Germans in an Audi Cabriolet Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them "It'sa illegala
to putta 5 people in a Quattro." "Vot do you mean it's illegal?" asks
the German driver. "Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official.
"Quattro is just ze name of zefokken automobile" the Germans says
unbelievingly. "Look at ze dam papers: ze car is designed to karry funf
Persons." "You canta pulla thata one on me!" replies the Italian
customs officer. "Quattro meansa four. You have five-a people ina your
car and you are hereforea breaking DA law." The German driver replies
angrily, "You idiot! Call your zupervisor over. I want to speak to
somevone viz more Intelligence!" "Sorry" respond the Italian officer,
"He can'ta come. He'sa busy witta 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."

[Raskolnikov]

Lidt flere ting her til weekenden:
Var det noget med en Emotioncon maske?
http://gizmodo.com/5014085/emotion-mask-brings-kekekekeke-to-life



Jeg foreudser at der snart kommer en slasher film hvor morderen har denne på!

[Bulgroz]

Nogen der har prøvet det?

[dipolisten]

A man came home just in time to find his lover in bed with another man.

In a total rage, he dragged his lover down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise.

He then secured it tightly and removed the handle.

Next he picked up a hacksaw.

The lover terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?"

The man, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."

[Raskolnikov]

Nogen der har prøvet det?

I love it!

[Raskolnikov]

Hvis vi stadig havde laserdisks og Zune var kongen i stedet for ipod.  Det er også en verden hvor der ikke er noget internet
her

[Raskolnikov]

I give you the Penis song! Optaget på settet til Fight Club. God fredag!
her.